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Fair Warning- Legend of Zorro

buzzard

First Post
I didn't see any mention of this so far, and I imagine it is only a public service to spare people the waste of spending money on this piece of garbage.

I am very fond of The Mask of Zorro and expected that with the same actors and director, this should have been at least a fair movie. I was wrong. Dead wrong. I don't know where they found the writer for this heap of trash, but they ought to send him back, and maybe assign him to writing Barney dialog or somesuch. So, I can't even council "wait for video", you're simply better off not seeing it.

buzzard
 

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cignus_pfaccari

First Post
frankthedm said:
Thank you, but, could you give a few reasons, perhaps in
tags?
Yes, please.

I've seen bad reviews, but it really helps to hear it from someone who was subjected to the horror. And it's a form of therapy, too. :)

Brad
 

buzzard

First Post
now as for why

Ok fair enough, I imagine some explanation of the horror is necessary.

Ok, I'll spoiler the lot of it.

Ok, the movie is a follow-up of the initial set ten years later. The backdrop is supposedly the admission of California to the Union. In and of itself this was a potentially decent backdrop for a movie. However this was about where the history ends.

Our first glaring inaccuracy appears in the first scene where a villain attacks people with a Henry rifle (against which everyone is using muzzle loaders) and brags about it. Of course the Henry Rifle wasn't invented till 1862. The use of the time machine in getting this future weapon was not mentioned. [Now keep in mind, I'm a gun nut so this stands out, but this is only a small fraction of the avalanche of historical garbage. I don't even remember all of it]. Had the writer just claimed it was a volcanic rifle, they would have been closer by using the first repeating lever action rifle, but that arrived in 1856.

So the bad guy has a superior weapon which doesn't exist yet as his rifle, and still uses flintlock pistols even though revolvers are commonplace at this time. In fact we don't see any revolvers in this movie, which really is bizarre.

But that's just technical whining, which probably bugs me unduly.

Let's get to the 'plot'. The plot is that the Pinkertons (which was in reality a private security agency founded in 1850, and had no government connection until the civil war when Pinkerton worked for the Union) convince Elena to divorce Alejandro (after they had a spat based on him being Zorro) so she can gain the confidence of a French Count who is up to nefarious things in California. They happened to see Zorro without his mask and used this for leverage to get her to do their will.

The count is, of course, a member of a one-world secret organization (Orbis Unem). This organization is supposed to be a bunch of aristocrats who are the power behind all the thrones of Europe. They fear the U.S. becoming a world power and thus plot its downfall. This organization is so secret and powerful that they even have their own soap label (I kid you not).

Their nefarious plot is to use their private label soap to make nitro glycerin and then give this powerful explosive to the Confederacy to start a civil war and thus break up the U.S. before it is able to become a world power. Of course the fact that nitro glycerine is too unstable to be militarily useful, and that the Confederacy wasn't even vaguely conceptualized yet won't get in the way of this brilliant scheme.

After a series of off and on again accents from various characters (particularly annoying was the Padre with the Bronx accent when he wasn't trying to do Mexican) Zorro and Elena do break up the plot with the aid of their kid (ten year old).

There is plenty of action, but the quality is not comparable to the first movie. The characters picked up a fighting style where the swords were a mere ancillary to their kung fu-ish moves. Everybody and their cousin was a trained gymnast, though Zorro in particular seemed to think a standing back flip was a good move especially when fully unnecessary. Though I admit the kid was a close second, winning the silver for gymnastics (Elena for the bronze).

Much of the dialog was simply puerile and the plot was clearly idiotic. The action was generally stupidly over the top. The acting was all over the place. Some was OK, but other was horridly anachronistic or just plain poor.

My problem may well be that I can't shut off my brain and simply enjoy the pretty colors on the screen, but this level of shut down may well have had to reach my autonomic nervous system.

buzzard
 

krunchyfrogg

Explorer
I had a good time with it. Was it as good as the first one? No way. But it was fun, CZJ looks great, and the kid is cute (what happened to the little girl at the end of the first one though?).

I just didn't like the fire special effects. I didn't buy it at all.
 

mmu1

First Post
I thought the movie was crap - in fact, I very nearly walked out of it after the first 5 minutes, going "So help me God, one more bit of gratuitous nonsense...", but managed to sit through most of the rest of it - but once the bad guy was dispatched, walked up and got out, not waiting to see the corny wrap up.

Then, I re-watched the original movie on cable today, and my opinion of the sequel dropped even more. It's not even in the same class. The plot, the dialogue, the performances - all are inferior, and the movie completely lacks focus...
 

From the ads I saw....

It looked like Spy Kids with swashbucklers (the soap plot sort of seals that deal).

Really, like little baby Zorro & Momma Zorro & Daddy Zorro go take out the bad guys.

If the Trailers can't make the movie look decent, I'm going to skip it. (For the record the first few trailers made me want to see it, then they started airing the ones with babby zorro & I realized this was a movie for those in the single digit age range).
 

buzzard

First Post
mmu1 said:
Then, I re-watched the original movie on cable today, and my opinion of the sequel dropped even more. It's not even in the same class. The plot, the dialogue, the performances - all are inferior, and the movie completely lacks focus...

Yes, much to my detriment I had watched the DVD of the 98 film the night before, and having that fresh in memory was simply a brutally painful contrast. Everything was worlds better in the original. I imagine Anothony Hopkins was quite glad his character croaked in the precious one.

buzzard
 

Prince Atom

Explorer
Well, I watched it and was able to turn my brain off enough to enjoy it.

I did find a lot of historical inaccuracies -- but it's not a documentary.

I probably won't go see it again, but it's an evening's entertainment and it'll eventually get into the dollar movies or even the dollar rentals.

TWK
 

Banshee16

First Post
krunchyfrogg said:
I had a good time with it. Was it as good as the first one? No way. But it was fun, CZJ looks great, and the kid is cute (what happened to the little girl at the end of the first one though?).

I just didn't like the fire special effects. I didn't buy it at all.

I'd forgotten about the daughter bit.....I'll have to go re-watch on DVD. All these posts make me less inclined to spend money seeing it in the theatre. That would be contributing money to the success of the film, which would be telling them it's "ok" to make films like this.

Banshee
 

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